Matheran Myaadness

I think this it’s beena really really long time that i hav written..!!

But thanks to inspiration ( or cud u call it Persuasion ) from the guru in writing herself lady Nabanita Singha Roy and ma dear friend Pooh, reckon it’s time to share ma latest outing last week.

This time we decided to go to Matheran, a hill station about 150 kms from pune on da Mumbai route. Ideally it was supposed to be COLD.. being a hill station.. but thanks to it’s altitude being lower than that of Pune, boy it was freakin HOT…!!! As hot as KIM K and her lovely assests or probably J lo’s..! :P

Anyways.. Coming back to the topic of ma outing… (Kim and JLO can wait..;) )..

To do the honour of accompanying yours truly were:

Tushar aka CHAMAN GUITAR aka BAVA.. Our LEAD guitarist (READ JEE – TAR – IST) and da wonly musician who carried a Borrowed Guitar…
Bava was so very worried dat sum1 mite drop his guitar or do something to it.. dat he let yours truly and others take care of it…!! Inference to be taken out : .. yeah u’r rite.. apro CHAMAN GUITAR BAVA is totally IRRISPONSIBLE..!!! :P

Next to do the honours was SUNIL.. da Silent Laughing Killer..!! dis guy has his Trademark I LAUGH TILL u r EMBARRRRASSED tacti..!!! J

Then we had Her Highness Granthana ji Biswas ( G.B ) who ACTUALLY GOT CHUTTI AND HAD THE DESIRE TO COME OUT ALONG WID US..!! J One important thing to b kept in mind is G.B always has dis thing of targeting yours truly on the eating habits..!! and kinda overdoes it always…
so if I hav lets say half a box of POPCORN, G.B’s status msg says “ NINNAD HOGGED POPCORN till HIS TUMMY BURST..” J !!!

To accompany us and ENLIGHTEN us were he Oye blai-me SARDARNI POOH and her sister Aarti…

I will not mention about Pooh now as this write up is about our.. er my outing and not about her Kissas of Dumbness / self obsession…!! : P

Lastly the jaan of the group, KARUNA aka Bacchu who’s so very wel practiced the art of DIPLOMACY , PATIENCE AND SELF CONTROL .. that I always wonder as to how she does it so very well..

This CHICK DOES NOT FIGHT WITH ANY ONE.. DOES NOT HATE ANY1, IS TOLLERANT TO AN EXTENT THAT SHE SUFFERS DUE TO IT… W.T.F I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING downbeat TO TALK BOUT HER..!! ;)

We were expecting 3 others, but they ditched @ the 11^th hour and since they were not a part of the outing, they don’t deserve a mention here too..!!!

The plan for the outing was done as if it was CHICHA NEHRU’s 5 year plan for the country…

All the permissions in place, tickets booked well in advance, hotel bookings done, maps in place, and wad not…!!

Ideally dis trip was supposed to b a wild – to freak out trip..!! J

Now one must note that Permissions play a very important role here…

Some of the above mentioned individuals actually need to confirm wid not only their folks but also with their KAKA, KAKI’S, MAMA AND MAAMI’S , GRAND FATHERS, GREAT GRANDMOTHARS, GREATEST GRANDPARENTS, HOUSE MAIDS, DRIVERS, NEIGHBHOURS WIFES’ SECOND HUSBANDS THIRD WIFES LOVER’S FOURTH DAUGHTER’S NANNY ETC ETC…

AND WONLY VERBAL CONFIRMATIONS ARE NOT ENUF…. Coz even post that somebody just drops a message again @ the 11^th hour saying.... “MOM NOT SENDING…YOU GUYS PLZ CARRY ON...”
so I recommended a written confirmation..!! J

And here we’r talking bout individuals who r over 25 years of age..!!!

So, admist a lot of confusion as to who would pick whom up and from where, we started our journey toward matheran…

Had got confirmed tickets on Sinhagad express to a station called KARJAT ( famous for it’s Vada Paav… but unfortunately it’s quality has gone from bad to worst over the years… L )

As always train travel is a pleasure, provided u like observing people and learn to keep ur mouth shut and hear them… U actually meet a lotta GYAANI people who with the confidence of a SUBJECT MATTER EXPERT can feko anything and everythin..
Like for example, there’s dis place called AMERICAN CANADA..!! :P or LEANING TOWER OD PISA IS GIFTED TO ITALY BY FRANCE.. JUST LIKE DA STATUE OF LIBERTY..!!! Man.. dess guys r a different species all together…

Des r da same category of species who being ticket less themselves wud occupy your seat and with the same confidence as shown above would try to convince you that u r in da wrong bogie.. ideally u hav a reserved ticket in the same bogie on the same berth / seat they’v usurped..!!

After taking care of all the BLUFF MASTERS and settling down, our first leg of the journey : PUNE – KARJAT started.
Travelling time : 2 hrs

This leg of the journey was fun as every1 was wide awake by then… ( forgot to mention that the train departs @ 6.00 am..!!, toooo early to even wake up.. L )

Here we discovered dat Pooh’s dad had actually got up @ 4 in da morning and prepared yummy sandwiches.. not to forget the lovely cookies he had parceled..!! ( uncle perhaps thought his daughters and their friends r going to travel not to matheran but Bangladesh….!! ;) )

.

Some well read gentleman has rightly said :

“ A Morning without a smoke and coffe aint no morning at all..!! “

And so true it is… but this does not hold true to folks travellin on the Great Indian Railways.. coz u cant smoke on the trains ( OR SO THE LAW SAYS…!! J ) AND NEITHER DO U GET TASTY COFEE… ( All u get is HOT FLAVOURED WATER THAT’S MUDDY IN COLOR AND A BIT SWEET .. AFTER GULPING DOWN MORE THAN HALF THE CUP DO U REALISE THAT THE FLAVOUR IS ACTUALLY THAT OF THE WORST EVER SAADA HUA COFEE BEAN..!! L )

ANYWAYS, Bava and ur’s truly did break certain laws but I had to compromise with the HOT FLAVOURED WATER…!!!

Here too Pooh had to shower her pearls of wisdom.. and that she did is élan.. When ur’s truly was about to enter the SO VERY CLEAN WASHROOM of the train, our DUMB SARDARNI aka POOH HOWLS ON TOP OF HER VOICE: “ AEEEEE.. CAN YOU SMOKE IN THE TOILET… ?? “. Thanks to her exemplary display of intelligence, the entire bogey started staring at me as if I were some CRIMINAL.. A CHILD KIDNAPPER or MOLESTER to b SPECIFIC…
Thus the great act of tryin to control the urge of smoking had to be performed.. but it dint last long..

Eventually I did do wad I had too..!! ;)

After 2 hours of laughter and entertaining our co passengers, we got down at Karjat to begin leg 2 of the travel : Karjat – Neral ( a small station which connect you to matheran )

Leg 2 of the travel finished in 20 minutes but on the sad note that the TOY TRAIN that connects Neral to MATHERAN was overbooked and that no tickets were available even on the next train… L

Here again we had pearls of wisdom from individuals sayin, “ chuk the tickets, we’l go without tickets and STAND in the TRAIn for 2 hours..!!! “
to everybody’s luck, sense prevailed and we caught hold of a TAXIWALLA ( note Indian version of CAB DRIVER ) who charged us 60 bucks per head to TRANSPORT 7 INDIVIDUALS OF VARIOUS SIZES AND SHAPES + THOUSANDS OF TONNES OF LUGGAGE + 100 QUINTALS OF FOOD AND YEAH.. 1 Guitar (READ JEE – TAR)

Thus begins our 3^rd and final Leg of journey to MAtheran
the journey was of not more than 20 minutes but boy it did have it’s significance, that :

v Apni Mruti. ( READ MARUTI ) Van is a sturdy…!!

v Apni Mruti. ( READ MARUTI ) Van can haul 7 INDIVIDUALS OF VARIOUS SIZES AND SHAPES + THOUSANDS OF TONNES OF LUGGAGE + 100 QUINTALS OF FOOD AND YEAH.. 1 Guitar (READ JEE – TAR) even over a gradient and slope having an angle of 75 degrees…!!

v U cud trust an L.P.G cylinder ( I actually had ma butt over it for 25 minutes ..!! )

v Never let 2 persons sit on the co driver’s seat.. unless u want GEARS BETWEEN YOUR LEGS..!! ;)

After an uphill journey and swaying for 20 odd minutes we reached the matheran base with everything but my BUTT intact .. ( I call it a sensation of POWER coz, I was literally ON GAS..!! J )

One important aspect of MAtheran is that vehicles are allowed only upto the bse of the Town and nowher beyond… From the Base one has to walk a min of 2.5 kms to reach the marketplace…If one doesn’t want to walk, there are options of a Horse ride or a single seater hand pulled Rickshaw ride…
We choose to walk…!!

The walk to the market is quite tiring… mentally and physically too..
Physically coz it’s an uphill climb… and mentally coz DISASTER IN THE FORM OF MONKEYS CAN STRIKE ANYTIME…!!! J

The reason to mention disaster is obvious.. DISASTER DID STRIKE…!!! All the 100 QUINTALS of food that Pooh was carryin, was actually a FEAST for the monkeys…

MUCH TO Pooh’s anguish, the monkeys actually snatched away the ENTIRE BAG FULL OF FOOD…!! CUD U BEAT DAT…!!! J

After consoling pooh and halting every 7.5 minutes for either a water or a drinks break, we finally managed to reach the Marketplace. Only to find out that our hotel was still 3 odd kms away…

The walk to the hotel was done obviously on FOOT and included tryin TAADGOOLAS, hunting for WATER HOLES ( read : Alcohol outlets ), Paanwallahs ( in case the stock runs out..!! ) and gud palces to eat…

After walkin for bout 20 odd minutes and askin for direction evry 3^rd minute, we finally arrived at our hotel.. HOTEL LAKE VIEW..!!! ( as expected, there was no lake around so I presumed that we were supposed to CREATE A LAKE AND THEN VIEW IT..!! J )

On checkin in the first thing that most of us did was .. TO CRASH IN BED…!!!
AFTER A power nap (VARIED FROM 15 MINS TO 2 HOURS) we had b’fast..!!

Activities after b’fast included SLEEPING, PLAYING CARDS AND YEAH.. MORE SLEEPING..!!!

Lunch was consumed at 4 in the evening. Here I wish to specially mention an important aspect of the food in Maheran… If u’r a veggie then be prepared to live on Daal Chawal.. coz that’s the only GOOD TASTY EDIBLE thing availableto eat..!!
For no veg lovers, ther is Shhabir Bhai’s , a place famous for biryani amongst others…
In short leaving the gujrati Thali @ Gujrat Bhavan, food does not find any special mention this time unlike the last time..!!!

The only saving grace I wud say were the Malai Golas, the homemade chocolate fudge ( which sum intelligent minds said wud hav been replaced by CADBURY DAIRYMILK ) and the poha and chai.

Coming back to Day 1 which was almost towards it’s end now. We actually has the honour of getting our portraits done by the GREATEST of GREAT painter SHRI SHRI PICCA_ANGELO him self..!!!
dis guys tried sketchin G.B, Bacchu and ur’s truly but ultimately failed..!!
in short 2 hours of sitting still gone waste..

Post the ARTISTIC STRUGGLE, we went back memory lane and tried experiencing the BUTTEFLIES IN STOMACH moment by sitting in a Ferris wheel…

The experience was awesome but for a moment when I actually felt the entire thing coming apart..!! yeah I did miss a heartbeat then…

And in the frrris wheel I hear comment like “ DEKHO HEMAN BAN RAAHA THA.. AB TO FAAAT GAYI..!! J “

Outdoor activities on day 1 ended with not so good a dinner and BAVA’s WALK IN THE MOONLIGHT…
Here I must share a situation where we were almost gonna get hammered to death by a FAT AUNTY anf hr family..( no no no.. we were not leching @ her.. we only laughed out loudly..!! on a comment made by my STILL NOT GOT LUCKY FRIEND as to why he does not get a GURU who teaches him the technique of : SAAT DIN LADKI IN..: J

After digesting all the laughter and some pain ( already had walked 15 kms ) we tried to sleep, but destiny had something else in store… Our LEAD JEETARIST suddenly decided to be the ROCKSTAR and wanted to show of his guitaring skills I presume ( to who, I am still guessing J ) and started with his MUSICAL NITE bang at 12…!!! ( I always believe that dis guy is possessed.. he comes to life @ nite.. ) after belting out numbrs after numbers we decide to wake the girls up who were by now SNORING away to glory in the adjacent room…

And wad a way to wake any1 up from deep slumber at 2 in da morning.. PLAY THE GUITAR AND HOWL ON TOP OF UR VOICES… “ CHAND MERA DIL.. CHANDNI HO TUM..!! “ and boy wad magical effects.. the chandni gets up and starts playing cards..!! ;) ;) ;)

Thus day 1 actually ended somewhere around 3 am after an eventful evening and much more eventful night…!!!

Day 2 started with the gals returning the favour… first they barged and gate crashed into our room.. then they started ferociously strumming the guitar and started howlin gout numbers in thw worst possible tones just to wake us up… and as if that was not enuf..started pulling the blankets away.. yuk yuk yuk

After settling down and getting ready ( which tok close to 2 hours ) we had a yummy b’fast and everyone but your’s truly headed to torture the horses. The horses took them to different locations which included valley crossing, river crossing etc…

In the mean while, I took off on foot, tried ma hands at valley crossing and explored a few places in the market.

Speaking bout the market, how can I not mention about the shopping spree dat one could do..!! chappals, leather belts , hats and canes are the specialty of matheran…did sho[ but bare minimum…

After an eventful lunch @ gujrat bhavan ( probably the only tasty food that we got ), we geared up to leave matheran only to find that the toy train was cancelled and that we wud hav to take the road once again…

So wad followed was again a trek down to the base and the same APNI MRUTI van drive .. this timw a bit bearable as it was downhill…

Again this time too the TAXIWALLA drive like a freakin maniac as if he’s MAI-KA-LAL SHOE_MAKER tryin to race his team to victory…!!

We did reach Neral station in a single piece… thanks to our stars… J

Our lst leg of the journey was Neral – KARJAT –PUNE and was a big question as we did not have reserved seats…

After a little bit of running about (including running on the tracs...!) we did manage to secure berths, play cards again and did reach home In one piece but extremely tired…

Overall the trip was pretty good… lot of new leanings and teachings, also a much needed break.

The trip definitely wud’nt hav been wonderful had there not been POOH with her PERAL’S OF WISDOM AND HER LOOVWWE FOR MONKEYS , KARUNA and her troubleshooting methods, BAVA and his WILD LOGIC and MUSIC, ARTI and her comic timing , SUNIL and his sense of humour and KILLER LAUGHTER and last but ot the elast G.B and KARUNA’s Obsession of clicking snaps every 5^th second..

We presume they’v clicked more than a 1500 snaps…!!!

Overall a memorable trip, full of myaadness and till the next time I write or get inspired…

KEEP THE FAITH..!!!